Halloween ‘tis the season to mask up. Unless, of course, you are a student at some woke-joke fun-burglar school that prohibits masks… unless you happen to be a student or staff member that self-identifies as a female Muslim in which case you can don a burqa or a niqab and completely entomb your face and body and be celebrated vis-à-vis the diversity factor... oh, it’s so complicated, this masking business, isn’t it?
Anyway, as we’ve seen these past couple of years, mask mandates enforced by our various public health necromancers forced EVERYONE to mask up – or else. The fact that these non-medical masks don’t work is beside the point. Face-diapers were strictly mandated nevertheless. How odd: go into a bank wearing a mask in 2019 the teller would press the silent alarm button. Go into a bank in 2020 or 2021 WITHOUT donning a mask on and that teller would resemble the Donald Sutherland screeching character from Invasion of the Body Snatchers…
Recently we came across somebody in Newmarket, Ont., clad in what appears to be a gas mask plus a plastic face shield. Half a year after the masking mandates were removed in Ontario and this wannabe Invincible Iron Man character still thinks it’s 2020… and seems to believe that COVID-19 is akin to the bubonic plague? What a lost cause…
But others are masking up, too, even if they are young and healthy and are frolicking outdoors. Sometimes it’s one useless paper mask; sometimes two or even three. Geez, how do they even breathe?
Then there are those who wear a mask, but under the nose, alas, which further completely nullifies its effectiveness. But hey, folks, snot happens…
But I think the most baffling display of a mask as we head into 2023 is by those people who wear the mask on their chins, like the facemask is actually a paper-based chinstrap.
Why are they doing this?
Is it because they might see someone on the street they deem to be unclean, which forces them to quickly mask up to avoid contracting Covid cooties?
Or maybe they think the mere presence of a mask on their body – either on their face or up their ass – serves as a cloak of invulnerability, like Superman’s cape?
You know, in this regard, I can’t help but think how far ahead of the curve Fernwood 2 Night, a.k.a., America 2-Night was. This brilliant show, which aired from 1977 to 1978, dined out on next-level satire and surrealness. And one of the characters seems to be a template for so many people who just can’t let go of their masks
I speak of William "W.D." Bud (Tom) (Morrey) Prize. And what a prize indeed. He always wore a chinstrap to reset his jaw or something.
You know, when I was a teenager watching this show, William "W.D." Bud (Tom) (Morrey) Prize always disturbed me. The idea of going through life with a ridiculous chinstrap affixed to one’s jaw: it was just so unnerving.
And yet, welcome to 2022! There is a legion of William "W.D." Bud (Tom) (Morrey) Prizes walking around town, donning facemasks-come-chinstraps. Like Chickenman, they’re everywhere, they’re everywhere!
What are they thinking? And say, what happened to “follow the science”? Is it just me or is Clown World now on steroids these days? And 45 years after Fernwood 2 Night went off the air, the fictional William "W.D." Bud (Tom) (Morrey) Prize – and his real-life clown clones in the here and now – still disturb the hell out of me…!