R.L. Stine books get Orwellian rewrite by Scholastic: 'I've never changed a word in Goosebumps. Any changes were never shown to me'

Stine's Goosebumps series of innocuous teen horror stories have sold 300 million copies worldwide.

R.L. Stine books get Orwellian rewrite by Scholastic: ‘I've never changed a word in Goosebumps. Any changes were never shown to me.’
Photo by Diane Bondareff/AP Images for Alliance for Young Artists & Writers
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Over 100 spooky acts of nonconsensual literary revisionism were done by the publisher of the e-book versions of Stine's work.

Stine's Goosebumps series of innocuous teen horror stories have sold 300 million copies worldwide.

The nightmare-come-to-life for Stine was the raising of bland, politically correct zombie versions of his beloved novels at the hands of insufferable memory-holing necromancers.

According to the Daily Mail:

The novels include no less than 100 edits, with one character described as 'cheerful' rather than 'plump' while another reference to 'crazy' has been changed to 'silly'.

A story involving alien abductions, cannibalism and obese people has now been amended with one of the players described as 'at least six feet' as opposed to 'at least six chins'.

Further changes have seen mentions of catcalls removed, while a person has lost their resemblance to a 'bowling ball' with 'squirrel cheeks'. A further tale of a person in a Halloween costume dressed as a 'dark and stormy night' no longer wears black face paint.

At least the dystopian censors waited until Roald Dahl died before they rewrote his life's works.

Dahl, author of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and James and the Giant Peach, and Fleming, the author of the James Bond series, have recently had their books shoved through the sausage maker of social justice by "sensitive readers."

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