Let’s face it, the Toronto mayoral race is turning into a colossal joke. After all, If the polls are correct, the front-runner is the uber-leftist Olivia Chow. Chow is promising to tear down the Gardiner Expressway because apparently there’s not enough gridlock on the streets of Toronto these days. She’s also a fan of establishing more self-injection sites catering to hardcore drug users and installing yet more bike lanes. And naturally, she loves the idea of taxing and spending. Should Chow be elected, expect Toronto to merge onto the fast track in terms of devolving into the northeast version of Portland, Oregon.
Adding to the unintentional humour of this mayor’s race saga is this somewhat shocking statistic: if John Tory were to run again, the disgraced ex-Mayor of Toronto would apparently win in a landslide! That’s right, Torontonians, for reasons that evade us, would welcome back this fake Conservative and false moral authority.
After all, it was Tory who went out of his way to reimagine himself as a Covid Karen during the pandemic, forcibly shuttering ma & pa businesses that dared to stay open. Tory also ludicrously demanded everyone wear masks– even between consuming bites of food! Meanwhile, “His Dishonour” was chasing a City Hall female subordinate around his cottage to engage in horizontal jogging. Class!
Therefore, how could a standup comedian with zero political experience fare any worse as Toronto’s new leader?
And so it is that Ben Bankas is offering a platform that borrows planks derived from both the left and the right – kind of like the old Chuckles the Clown saying: “A little song, a little dance, a little seltzer down your pants…”
For example, as Leafs’ fans continue to mourn yet another early exit of their beloved shinny team from Lord Stanley’s playoffs (56 years and counting), Bankas says he’s going to show how progressive he is by banning the Maple Leafs and all other male pro sports teams (i.e., Raptors, Blue Jays, Argonauts, Toronto FC) from the city. However, there is a catch: as long as the likes of Austin Matthews and Mitch Marner pledge to “identify” as women, then these biological men can continue to play for the female pro hockey team.
Is Ben Bankas brilliant – or bizarre? Alas, given that it seems that we all currently reside on the Clown World planet, putting a comedian in charge of Hogtown somehow seems to make perfect sense…