CRIMINAL! Why did an LCBO manager make a false police report – and why isn’t she being charged for doing so?

It’s the story that never seems to end…

I speak of my infamous visit to the Wicksteed Avenue LCBO in Toronto back in April 2021.

I was there to buy three bottles of Scotch, Glenfarclas 105 to be precise. These bottles are packaged in canisters, which is significant for one reason: one of the canisters was empty. So, I paid for three bottles but only received two. Now, buy three get two isn’t a great marketing ploy, even for an abusive government monopoly. But whatever. Mistakes happen.

So it was that I got in touch with head office. LCBO corporate informed the manager of the store, Ashley Matallo, to rectify this error. Luckily I recorded my conversation with Matallo. She said to drop by the store and pick up the bottle. It would be kept aside on her desk.

But a funny thing happened enroute to the liquor store to pick up that wayward bottle: Matallo, for reasons that are unknown to this day, had a change of heart. Like the Soup Nazi in Seinfeld, it was a matter of “No bottle for you!”

But here’s the thing. This is a government-owned and operated liquor store. This is not “Ashley Matallo’s Liquor Boutique.” Matallo is not an entrepreneur, she has no skin in the game. Rather, she’s a booze bureaucrat. It is not her choice to A) rip off consumers; or B) defy her corporate masters who ordered her to rectify the situation. But this government employee went rogue nevertheless.

So it was that I had to actually file a small claims lawsuit. Yes, I had to go to court to get back what was rightfully mine. It was a slam-dunk, of course. I won my case back in June. I can’t tell you what I was awarded, but let’s just say this, folks: the settlement allowed me to purchase several bottles of Glenfarclas 105.

Now astute viewers will realize that all of this has all been previously reported. So, what’s the purpose of this commentary? Well, it’s to inform you about a criminal matter that resulted from this sordid event. That’s right, in addition to civil court, this matter ended up in criminal court!

Here’s what happened: in November 2022, my cameraman Lincoln Jay and I visited the Wicksteed Avenue LCBO to serve Ashley Matallo with the small claims lawsuit papers. And what did she do?

First, she refused to take delivery of the document.

And then, she called the police.

Yes. Matallo lied through her teeth, saying that I had physically assaulted her.

Does anyone think I would assault a woman or anyone else for that matter? Especially in an environment with numerous security cameras rolling? And in front of several witnesses? Indeed, knowing full well the character of Ms. Matallo, I had my cellphone camera on when I served her the papers. The video evidence show that an assault only occurred in Matallo’s imagination.

So, there you have it: Matallo would not take the papers, so I simply dropped them in an empty liquor box. I literally did not touch a hair on her chinny chin-chin. And yet, this crank called the police and falsely claimed she had been assaulted. Egregious.

And it was just my luck that I ended up with two lazy and incompetent police officers who responded to the call. All they had to do was look at our video. If they had done so, I think they would’ve arrested Matallo for making a false police report. But they couldn’t be bothered with that. Instead, they arrested me, handcuffed me, put me in a police cruiser, and fingerprinted me. Some how, some way, a civil matter became a criminal matter – based on a malicious pack of lies.

Recently, this matter wrapped up in court. It was equal parts farcical and disturbing. The bottom line: I signed a peace bond to make it go away. That sure beats jail time and/or sensitivity training, which the Crown prosecutor was seeking despite evidence that no assault occurred.

But it’s downright disturbing. This wasn’t merely an attack on me, but an attack on the judicial process when it comes to civil court. Imagine that any time someone is served court papers, the recipient’s go-to response is to phone 9-1-1 with false allegations?

As for the next chapter, I plan to sue Matallo for her false and vindictive lies. Oh, don’t worry – I’ll hire a professional process server to deliver the papers to her. And I’ll tell this person to video-record the service of those documents just in case Matallo tries to pull this stunt again.

As for LCBO Corporate, nobody at head office seems to give a rodent’s rectum. Indeed, get this: in 2023, Matallo’s salary stands at a staggering $119,000. And that salary represents a raise of 11.29% from the previous year!

That’s right, the LCBO actually rewarded Matallo for being incompetent and malicious. Your tax dollars hard at work yet again, folks.