Big celebration in Toronto's Little Italy as fans party like it's 2019

On Sunday, Italy defeated England to bring soccer’s Euro Cup back to Rome. And predictably, Toronto’s Italian community literally danced for joy in the streets, forcing road closures. It was indeed a joyous occasion.

But gracious, in retrospect, what were these Team Italy fans thinking? There was no social distancing, most weren’t wearing masks — just like the thousands of fans who packed London’s Wembley Stadium to watch the game live across the pond earlier that day.

Golly, we know Ontario Premier Doug Ford takes a very dim view of such mass gatherings in this day and age of the pandemic. Undoubtedly, between bites of cherry cheesecake, Premier Ford was having a conniption observing such a mass civil disobedience by his Italian subjects in Little Italy.

(By the way, does anyone know how to say, “A bunch of yahoos” in Italian?)

Toronto Mayor John Tory must’ve also been livid witnessing this mass outbreak of… normalcy. After all, since January, Yonge-Dundas Square has been declared a no man’s land for protesters. Well, that’s not entirely true: if one is an anti-lockdown protester one shall be violently arrested. But law enforcement will inexplicably turn a blind eye to the supporters of terrorist groups such as the Tamil Tigers and Hamas congregating at Yonge-Dundas Square. We’re still waiting on an explanation when it comes to making sense of this egregious double standard.

We interviewed many of the soccer celebrants in Little Italy, and the consensus was that they are sick and tired of the oppressive and useless lockdowns. They want to live their lives freely again, and believe that the real virus isn’t COVID-19, but the tyrannical way in which politicians and unelected, non-accountable health bureaucrats are clamping down on our freedoms and Charter rights.

As for their opinion of Premier Ford, Mayor Tory, and Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, well, let’s put it this way: the most-oft stated descriptor pertaining to these political three stooges was a certain F-word, uttered in both Italian and English, and albeit vulgar, pretty much on point, all things considered…