At first blush, the Hamilton Spectator headline seemed somewhat disturbing: “Hamilton police looking for man who exposed himself to young person.”
The story went on to note:
Hamilton police are looking for a man who allegedly approached a young person, asked them to perform a sexual act and then exposed himself Monday evening. Shortly before 8:30 p.m. June 27 police were called to Cannon Street East near Lottridge Street, where the incident occurred. Police are looking for a Black man in his 20s, with a medium build and short black hair.
But the question arises: just who committed the so-called crime here? Was this really a case of indecent exposure? Or, given the kneejerk reaction to the phallus on display, was this a case of… homophobia?
You see, this incident occurred on Monday. Yet just 24 hours earlier at the Toronto Pride Parade, the streets of Hogtown resembled a sausage fest on steroids.
Oh, there’d be complaints about the diverse wieners blowing in the wind on this day, even though cops galore lined the parade route. And it’s a good thing nobody dared ask a cop to arrest any of the cocky cocksmen, because complaining about any Free Willies on this day would surely have resulted in the policeman charging the complainant with a hate crime.
In this respect, who’s to say that this twentysomething fellow on the run in Steeltown wasn’t demonstrating HIS gay pride?
In fact, could it be the only sin the Hamilton man committed was that he neglected to wave a rainbow flag as he let loose his johnson from his trousers? That little rainbow flag is very powerful. It protects flashers from being criminally charged; it’s kind of like a get-out-of-jail-free card for nudists who have ventured off the nudist colony…
So, let’s collectively hope the dogs are called off and assume this Hamiltonian was absent minded, forgetting his wee rainbow flag to claim weewee immunity.
In the meantime, we strongly urge the editor of the Hamilton Spectator and Hamilton’s chief of police to surrender themselves to the closest human rights commission in order to obtain much needed sensitivity training.