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Liquor theft is a big deal in Ontario. And an even bigger deal is the fact that the government’s liquor bureaucrats don’t seem to give a rodent’s rectum. Thieves are so brazen they rob liquor stores of inventory in broad daylight without even bothering to disguise themselves! Recently in Kitchener, a trio of thieves marched out the door with about $8,000 worth of hooch – no muss, no fuss.

And heck, if the police catch them, they’ll be out on bail in a matter of hours.

But those thieves were mere amateurs compared to what happened at a store in Richmond Hill recently.

According to an LCBO insider, here’s what occurred: evidently, a staffer “forgot” to lock the loading dock door at closing time. And wouldn’t you know it? Coincidentally a band of thieves dropped by in the wee hours of the morning, went right to that unlocked door, and went on an authorized shopping spree. Their take? More than $120,000 in wine, beer and spirits!

Unbelievable…

We reached out to the LCBO’s media relations department for further details about this heist. Here are our questions:

1. What was the result of your investigation?

2. Were police called? If so, did the police launch an investigation?

3. There is speculation that this was an inside job involving a staff member. Is this the case?

4. Did the store’s security cameras capture the theft?

5. Was this incident publicized by the LCBO? If not, why not given that Ontarians are in effect shareholders of the LCBO?

6. Again, when it comes to overall theft numbers, what is the annual amount (we have seen figures ranging from $6 million to $77million)?

7. Of the theft occurring at LCBO stores, what percentage is internal theft?

And shockers! Yet again, more radio silence from the liquor board’s media relations team. (Bonus query: why does this booze bureaucracy even have a media relations department given that these lazy flaks can’t even be bothered to acknowledge requests for comment?)

At the Liquor Control Board of Ontario, theft is raging OUT OF CONTROL & the booze monopoly doesn’t care! (It’s only taxpayer money, after all..) There is a solution: go back to the store format of yester-decade in which consumers paid for booze in advance https://t.co/RPBhoXrZxv

— David Menzies (@TheMenzoid) August 30, 2025

Oh, and should you decide to pay a house call to LCBO headquarters in downtown Toronto, don’t expect a warm reception.

That’s what we discovered last week when we encountered a receptionist who:

1. Dropped F-bombs galore;

2. Stole a cellphone right out of the hands of a Rebel News staffer;

3. Flipped us the bird. Several times

Customer. Service. Excellence.

Bottom line: the LCBO is clearly not only suffering from emboldened thieves but it’s also taking a hit via internal shrinkage – as demonstrated by what happened at the Richmond Hill store at the corner of Leslie Street and Major Mackenzie Drive East.

And even worse, the LCBO is clearly uninterested in cracking down on thievery. Why? Well, it’s because it’s a Crown corporation monopoly. It’s not their money being pilfered – it’s taxpayer funds. And if the thievery continues to spiral out of control, no problem: the LCBO will just mark-up the product on the shelves, so that law- abiding customers will be forced to pay even more.

Because that’s how a government-run monopoly functions, you see.

We need a drink. Make it a double, actually…