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Rebel News recently returned to the scene of the crime. But there’s a twist to this true crime story: the criminals aren’t gangbangers, but rather, members of law enforcement!

Astute viewers of Rebel News might recall that earlier this month we paid a visit to the headquarters for the central division of Toronto Parking Enforcement in north Toronto. The reason for our house call: we were told by an insider that parking enforcement officers were engaging in time theft. Which is to say, they are supposed to work 10 hours per shift, but they are only putting in eight hours (or less.)

Teaming up with Jay Bannister of Mad Lab Press, we were able to document that morning shift starting duty at 6 a.m. They are supposed to be working until 4 p.m. But no: at around 1:30 p.m., the meter maids began returning to HQ. This time banditry works out to almost $6 million in theft. Our insiders say it has been going on for years now, meaning the City of Toronto (a.k.a., the taxpayer) has been hoodwinked for tens of millions of dollars!

And yes, we caught them red-handed coming back to HQ early, surely yet another P.R. black eye for the Toronto Police Service.

Time Bandits! Toronto Police Parking Enforcement Officers are ending their 10-hour shifts at least 2 hours early! That means Toronto taxpayers are being scammed out of almost $6 million per year! Who do you call when the cops are the thieves?! Scandalous. https://t.co/VwSxFkc8UZ

— David Menzies (@TheMenzoid) May 7, 2026

So, what happened in the aftermath?

You’re not going to believe it…

According to our sources, the police brass conducted no fewer than six “emergency meetings” after our story aired. But get this: the focus of the meetings wasn’t to put an end the time-theft. Rather, the brass was hellbent on finding out who leaked the information to Rebel News!

As a result, we were told, every officer on duty that shift was interrogated. But think of the logic here. There are some 400 parking enforcement officers working at three separate divisions. What makes the head honchos think that our source was someone at this particular division working this particular morning shift? Seriously, who’s running the cop shop in Hogtown these days: Sherlock Holmes or Inspector Clouseau?

It gets worse: our sources tell us that the parking enforcement poohbahs are now looking into relocating this division to a purely private and gated facility. That’s the setup for the East and West parking divisions. Alas, at the central division, the meter maids share the parking lot with spaces set aside for public parking… which allows pesky journalists to ask impolite questions.

So, instead of reading the riot act and telling employees to put in a full shift, the brass wants to put the corruption behind closed doors and carry on business as usual!

Unbelievable.

So, what about the gatekeepers for the cops?

Well, we reached out to Councillor Shelly Carroll. She’s the chair of the Toronto Police Services Board. Our emails weren’t even acknowledged.

We also reached out to the media relations department of the City of Toronto. We received a response from Melanie (no surname.) Here it is: “Thank you for your inquiry. This matter falls under the jurisdiction of Toronto Police Service; please direct questions to TPS.”

There are two problems with this suggestion.

First, it is members of the TPS who are the thieves! Reaching out to the TPS would be like going to the Godfather to complain about mafia activity in the neighbourhood.

Secondly, it’s a moot point. As we explained to Melanie, the Toronto Police will NOT respond to media requests from Rebel News. (They much prefer to deal with the trained seals in the mainstream media.) It’s a classic Catch-22.

And sure enough, it was indeed business as usual last Tuesday afternoon. In fairness, the meter maids didn’t return at 2 p.m., but rather 2:30 p.m. – a full 90 minutes before their shifts were supposed to end.

Now the question remains: who do you call when it’s the cops who are the bad guys and the people who oversee the cops don’t give a rodent’s rectum?