Alleged feces-flinger Samuel Opoku granted bail

Accused Toronto feces-tosser granted bail!

Samuel Opoku, the man who allegedly doused five victims with liquefied human feces in three separate incidents last month, has been granted bail. Opoku still faces five counts of assault with a weapon and five counts of mischief for his alleged acts. While his lawyer, Jordan Weisz, says the public shouldn’t be concerned, we think this really stinks.

(But, alas, we can’t get into the nitty-gritty details thanks to — you've guessed it — yet another publication ban.)