“Enough is enough”: Toronto anti-lockdown protests enter third month

“Yahoo Nation” returned to the lawns of Queen’s Park for its eleventh consecutive Saturday protest.

As always, the song remained the same: they want Ontario Premier Doug Ford to reopen the economy – as in fully reopen the economy. People want to go to the gym. The movie theatre. The nightclub. Activities that still remain verboten due to the Wuhan virus.

Incidentally, ever since the pandemic forced the premier to enact an economic lockdown, Doug Ford – whose campaign slogan in 2018 was “Ontario – Open for Business” – has been consistent in his messaging. He has always noted that nobody wants the province fully reopened more so than he does; however, he is relying on the advice of top medical and scientific authorities when it comes to making such decisions.

But last week at a press conference, Premier Ford dropped a bombshell, noting that he doesn’t know when the economy will move into Stage 3 because he doesn’t “have a crystal ball.”

So, Doug, which is it?

Are you relying on advice from the fields of science and medicine – or are you now turning to black magic when it comes to economic policy?

If it’s the latter, may we humbly suggest some other decision-making methods if crystal balls are hard to come by these days?

For example, there’s voodoo. Or you might want to consult a Ouija board.

Or you can visit a local psychic (oh, and if that is off the table because you want to continue to practice social distancing, you can always phone one of those 1-900 psychic hotlines – just bill it to the taxpayer.)

In the meantime, perhaps some local gypsy can indeed help you acquire that crystal ball you so desperately need.

But please, Premier Ford, make sure you wash your hands thoroughly prior to using it – especially if you happened to be making and/or eating those famous cherry cheesecakes of yours. We wouldn’t want the crystal getting all smudged up with baking ingredients after all.