Air Canada: No standing, you might catch COVID! (packed planes are perfectly fine though)

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Hey folks, did you know that the Wuhan virus can tell if you are sitting or standing? And that if you’re standing as opposed to sitting, you’re far more likely to get infected?

Says who? Says Air Canada, that’s who.

Here’s the deal: my cameraman Mocha and I were on a flight to Thunder Bay from Toronto a few days ago. The flight was jam-packed, every seat taken  so much for social distancing.

Alas, we could not land in Thunder Bay due to fog, so the pilot pulled a U-turn and brought us back to Toronto to refuel and retry our landing later in the afternoon.

We were on the ground at Pearson for more than half hour, so passengers began to get out of their seats and stretch their legs. That’s when a flight attendant, assuming the tone of a kindergarten teacher lambasting her naughty students, gave us all an earful via the public address system.

We were to return immediately to our seats due to… COVID-19 health precautions?! What the…?!

Gee, that Wuhan virus is such a smart cookie, no? It can tell when you’re standing or sitting, and it takes umbrage against those who dare to stand for whatever reason.

When the flight finally touched down at Thunder Bay, I politely spoke with the flight attendant who made the announcement. I wanted to know what difference does it make if a passenger sits or stands in what is essentially an immobile hermitically-sealed aluminum tube?

So, I reached out to the media relations department of Air Canada/Jazz. Here’s their statement:

As a result of COVID-19, our onboard procedures have been adjusted to limit movement around the cabin and to refrain from congregating in aisles and galleys for the safety of our passengers and crew members. Our policies and procedures are developed with guidance from Air Canada and Transport Canada regulations.

Does that make sense to you? Again, once your in a confined space, how does standing or sitting make any tangible difference?

Weird... as in, Weird Science

In any event, there you have it, frequent fliers: if you are on an Air Canada flight, never stand, always sit, or be prepared to be infected by the Wuhan virus… for reasons that remain… mysterious.

Wow… just when you thought it couldn’t get any more complicated to join the Mile High Club.

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  • By Ezra Levant

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