Greta Thunberg, Sweden’s pint-sized climate crusader, brought her climate crisis roadshow to Washington, D.C., taking part in a march and “die-in” just outside the White House.

In the meantime, what unfolded was a most bizarre gathering, one-half Woodstock redux, one-half death cult. But as for Greta herself, she didn’t have much to say, starting her brief speech by remarking, “I have nothing to say.”

But what is she waiting for? It was noted several times during the demonstration that the planet only has 11 years left before its best-before date kicks in. Moral of the story: buy your furniture on those long layaway financing deals...