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Well, they are up to their shenanigans yet again.

When we say “they”, we are referencing the Ontario Lottery and Gaming Commission, the most scandal-plagued Crown corporation in the history of… Crown corporations.

Even so, the OLG defends its lottery ticket monopoly on the proviso of “social responsibility.” Translation: we can’t possibly trust the profit-obsessed private sector to sell lottery tickets. They are untrustworthy money grubbers. But we at the OLG, we’re a government bureaucracy. We subscribe to higher standards.

Yeah, and if you believe that whopper, we have some oceanfront property for sale in Saskatchewan…

Anyway, the OLG is compelled to justify its very existence from time to time. And so it was the other day when an OLG press release plopped on our desk. It was headlined: “Be a ‘Grinch’ when it comes to lottery tickets and kids.”

Here goes: “The holidays are all about sharing joy and surprises with family and friends. But when it comes to lottery tickets for kids, it’s time to channel your inner Grinch. OLG reminds parents and caregivers that lottery tickets are a form of gambling and should never be given to children or minors.

“It’s easy to think of lottery tickets as a quick, fun stocking stuffer — but they’re designed for adults. Just like the Grinch learned that the holiday season isn’t about things, we need to remember that holiday cheer doesn’t come from risky gifts. Joy in ‘Whoville’ comes from togetherness — not from introducing children to habits that can lead to problems long after the holidays. If you’re buying lottery products as gifts, make sure those who receive them are at least 18 years or older.”

Sanctimonious much?

First of all, if the OLG believes that scratch tickets can “lead to problems long after the holidays”, that sounds serious. Gee, maybe the OLG should get out of the gambling business altogether if people are squandering their mortgage money due to a gambling addiction?

And another thing when it comes to the small fry set: we’ve noticed for decades now that the OLG has distributed scratch tickets that are indeed targeted at children. We speak of such kid-friendly scratch games as Monopoly, Battleship, Clue, Tetris and Pac-Man. How does the OLG justify selling products that appeal to kids yet the OLG lectures parents not to give such products to kids?

Sorry, does not compute…

We reached out to OLG spokesthingy Tony Bitonti to get the OLG’s side of the story. Tony used to always return our calls and emails. Not anymore. Such is the transparency of the Doug Ford government.

Then again, maybe we are guilty of unintentionally “misgendering” Tony Bitonti? You see, we checked out Tony’s online bio to confirm he’s still gainfully employed at the OLG.

Here is an excerpt: “Tony Bitonti has over 30 years of work experience in media relations and news production. Tony started their career as an intern at the Office of Sheila Copps - former MP in 1988 and worked there until 1990. From 2008 to 2010, they served as the senior producer of news at CP24. Finally, they joined OLG in 2010 and held the position of senior manager of media relations until 2019 when they were promoted to the director of media relations, which they currently hold.”

What the hell? When did this he/him become a they/their? Is Tony now nonbinary? Trans? Two-spirited? It’s all so confusing…

In any event, it looks like we will not be getting any answers to our queries about kids and scratch tickets. This is odd given that Tony’s pronouns suggest he identifies as multiple people. You’d think one of his entities would have plenty of time to return an email or phone call. But no.

And yes folks, what another great example of your tax dollars hard at work yet again…