There are a myriad of reasons why Donald Trump triumphed and Kamala Harris floundered on election day. But could it be that one small factor that contributed to a Trump win and Harris defeat was the unfortunate plight of a rodent?

We speak of P’Nut the squirrel. Just days before election day, the saga of P’Nut went viral on social media.

Here’s the skinny: Mark and Daniela Longo of upstate New York adopted P’Nut when the squirrel’s mother was run over by a car in Manhattan. Mark told the New York Times that the orphaned squirrel “ended up crawling up my leg.”

Longo brought P’Nut back to his home and bottle-fed him for eight months. Once nursed back to health, Longo released the squirrel into his Pine City, N.Y. backyard — only to see P’Nut return a few days later with half of his tail missing, presumably after an attack by a hostile animal.

From that day forward, P’Nut existed as an indoor squirrel, with Longo noting that P’Nut was “24/7 cage-free his entire life.”

The Longos also went on to rescue and accommodate a raccoon that they named Fred.

But alas, a nosey neighbour altered the authorities. And incredibly, several officers with the Departments of Environmental Conservation and Health raided the Longos’ house! They seized P’Nut and Fred, and for reasons that remain baffling, euthanized both critters.

The outrage online was off the charts. And the murder of P’Nut became political.

Indeed, Vanity Fair published an article entitled, “Why the Death of P’Nut the Squirrel Has Become a National Political Event”.

The publication went on to note: “The right has adopted a euthanized squirrel as a symbol of government overreach. P’Nut’s dad’s OnlyFans account is booming.”

As well, free speech champion Elon Musk took to X to state: “If they will raid a house for a squirrel, they’re sure as shit going to come after you.”

Meanwhile, Vice President-elect J.D. Vance said that Trump was infuriated over the death of the squirrel, noting: “I know Don’s fired up about P’Nut the squirrel. He was like, ‘You know, is it really the case that the Democrats murdered the Elon Musk of squirrels?’ Have you seen the videos of this squirrel? He’s, like, a genius. Or he was.”

Meanwhile, where oh where is the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) when it comes to the P’Nut file? Well, pretty much AWOL.

Rebel News searched PETA’s website, but there was no mention of P’Nut nor Fred. That’s odd: isn’t PETA ostensibly all about animal welfare?

But while the P’Nut story was going viral, PETA was busy doing victory lap’s regarding its successful campaign to get Starbucks to charge the same price for soy milk as it does for cow’s milk. Oh, vegans of the world rejoice!

When contacted by Rebel News, PETA spokeswoman Catie Cryar issued the following statement: “At PETA, we lament that this dear squirrel’s life was taken when he appears to have been part of the family since his infancy, and it seems his humans didn’t realize that the best way to help orphaned wild animals is to take them to a licensed rehabber so as to be returned to nature.”

Yet, at time of writing, no mention of the plight of P’Nut on PETA’s website.

Too political, perhaps?

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