UPDATE: “Social distancing” circles in Trinity-Bellwoods Park have Torontonians acting like “trained seals”
So, you want to go to a park and run around and play catch or toss a Frisbee about? That’s swell. Just make sure you don’t do so at Trinity Bellwoods Park in downtown Toronto.
You see, after a tad too many people congregated at Trinity Bellwoods almost two weeks ago to have a little fun in the sun, Mayor John Tory had a conniption. It was due to the blatant disregard of those Wuhan virus social-distancing etiquette rules. You see, only Mayor Tory can violate Wuhan virus etiquette (as he has done on several occasions for his precious photo-ops.) But the commoners of Toronto, alas, can expect to be served with an $880 fine via the Pandemic Police and/or the coronavirus Cops.
But Mayor Tory had a whiz-bang solution to ensure that people don’t get too close to one and other in this park again: he ordered city staff to paint some 400 circles upon the parkland (at a cost of $12 per circle) and then he ordered the great unwashed masses to stay in their circles. And to ensure compliance, he had bicycle mounted police officers and bylaw enforcement officers continuously circle the park. Big Brother was indeed watching…
Apparently, this scheme is yet another idea that the Mayor has imported from San Francisco. So, you know it’s just gotta be good… like that whole sanctuary city tent city thingy…
And lo and behold, when I swung by Trinity Bellwoods on Saturday afternoon to check out the compliance rate, I was somewhat dumbfounded to find out that just about everyone in the park was indeed staying within their circles… like good little trained seals.
So welcome to Hogtown, folks.
But keep in mind that tiptoeing through the tulips is strictly prohibited. Please remain in your circle. Resistance is futile; self-determination is irrelevant…
Toronto's decolonization manager, key in Dundas Square renaming, no longer works for city
By Roberto Wakerell-Cruz
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