Visiting Labatt to ask why Bud Light wants us to celebrate diversity and pronouns

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Have you seen the new Bud Light cans? Each can is illustrated with a rainbow along with a command to “celebrate everyone’s identity.”

The cans are also festooned with pronouns and words that might be pronouns. Which is to say, there are the classic pronouns printed on the can — you know; she, him, her, they, etc.

But then there were a bunch of made-up words which we imagine are whiz-bang new-age pronouns that do not reside in any dictionary on the planet. For example: what is X-E and X-E-M? (That last one kinda sounds like a satellite radio network.) What is S-I-E and H-I-R? And what the devil is a Z-E and a Z-I-R? (Kinda sounds like the trim level for those high-end Camaros GM produced in yester-decade. Do some people identify as a muscle car? Cool!)

Here's another question: are there even a dozen people in our great Dominion who “identity” as a XE, XEM, SIE, HIR, ZE and a ZIR? Have you ever met one? What do they look like?

We sought answers by calling the 1-800 number on the Bud Light can. And get this: Labatt Brewery, which brews Bud Light in Canada, has apparently axed its call centre (or as they call it, they have “transitioned” to digital.) That means there are no hes or hers or theys picking up the telephone these days. Instead, you are asked to send an email to www.Budwieser.com. Which we did several days ago. And that email was promptly ignored.

Too bad. We really want to know how to identify those people who identify as XE, XEM, SIE, HIR, ZE and a ZIR so that we don’t “misgender” them, which is considered a heinous hate crime these days.

That prompted us to go straight to the source – namely, the Labatt Brewery in London, Ont., where Bud Light is concocted. We wanted to get an idea of what all this gender gibberish means. And shockers! Can you believe it? Nobody at the brewery knew what XE and ZIR, etc. was either!

But a security guard promised to pass along our queries to corporate affairs. So far, radio silence. Maybe the corporate people have no idea what these terms mean either?

Give us a break. Bud Light, despite its inexplicable popularity, is plonk to begin with. But surely even those who love Bud Light don’t need a lecture on a can regarding gender pronouns, many of them apparently being nothing more than fictional constructs.