What are David Menzies' predictions for 2023?

David Menzies names six predictions for the New Year.

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Hey folks, it used to be that my year-end video would focus on cheeky predictions regarding those things and words that would likely be eradicated in the months ahead due to that ideological virus known as political correctness. 

You know the drill: a Christmas tree is now a holiday tree or a signature tree or simply… “a tree.” 

As well, so it is that native-themed sports team nicknames such as Indians, Eskimos, and Redskins have come under the PC tomahawk. These clubs have now been rebranded as Guardians, Elks, and Commanders thanks to pearl-clutching liberal soy-boys who imagine that natives might be offended by native monikers when in fact data proves the precise opposite is true. 

Sadly, it’s inevitable that Braves, Chiefs, and Blackhawks are destined for the PC slaughterhouse sooner rather than later. That’s truly a shame, especially when it comes to Chicago’s NHL franchise given that the Blackhawks’ logo is arguably the most beautiful graphic design in the entire sports world. 

By the way, as an aside, when it comes to the new moniker of Washington’s NFL team, the Commanders… just who exactly is this franchise “commanding”? A bunch of wimps who bent the knee to those bullies who comprise the roster of Team Cancel Culture? Yeah, that’s some commanding all right! 

Alas, political correctness – which is a code-phrase for not stating the truth lest anyone gets offended by… the truth – has only gotten worse in the last few years. Much worse. I mean do you know you’re not supposed to call an alcoholic an alcoholic anymore? Rather, the tall-forehead folks at the National Institute on Drug Abuse would prefer you use the term, QUOTE: “person with alcohol use disorder” END-QUOTE. 

Likewise, an “addicted baby” must now be referred to as a QUOTE: “baby born to mother who used drugs while pregnant” END-QUOTE. 

Oh, gracious – didn’t the nattering nabobs who comprise the National Institute on Drug Abuse get the memo? “Mother” is under the ban these days in certain circles, the correct term being “chest-feeder” … just in case, you know, some 350-lb. dude with a beard and his original wedding tackle still intact “identifies” as female. Shame, shame… shame on you, National Institute on Drug Abuse… 

In fact, these days, the term “political correctness” is kind of passe, being replaced by such terms as “woke-ism” and “cancel culture.” Yeah, talk about perverse irony: the descriptor political correctness is politically incorrect itself in some circles. 

ANYWAY, in the spirit of eradication and rebranding, allow me to make predictions of those things that will be deemed verboten in 2023 and beyond. 

Oh, and in case you think I’m being overly outrageous, please consider this: in 2018 I prophesied that the term “brainstorming” would come under the ban because this word might be construed as a mocking term for people suffering from mental illness. 

I was being savagely sarcastic, of course. Especially given that “brainstorming” has absolutely nothing to do with mental illness. Indeed, here’s the textbook definition of the word: QUOTE: “Brainstorming is a group creativity technique by which efforts are made to find a conclusion for a specific problem by gathering a list of ideas spontaneously contributed by its members.” END-QUOTE 

Well, can you believe it? After that prediction aired, a few viewers from the United Kingdom reached out to inform me that the eradication of brainstorming had come to fruition way back in 2008! 

The Tunbridge Wells Borough Council in Kent, England, decided that this word was deemed verboten because… drum roll, please… brainstorming might be offensive to… mentally ill people and those suffering from epilepsy. I swear! 

So it was that an edict was issued in which brainstorming came under the ban. The replacement words? “Thought showers.” No, folks, I’m not making this up. Thought showers. That’s golden isn’t it… but please don’t partake in any activity that combines the words “golden” and “shower” … 

Anyway, let’s get on with it, shall we? Here are my predictions for those things that might be kind of tolerated now but are surely due for rebranding in 2023. For example: 

  1. Ships shall no longer be referred to by the pronoun “she.” I mean, how do you know if a boat identifies as a “she/her” as opposed to a “he/him” or a “zee-zir” or a “ve-ver” or an “e-em” or a “vir-vis” or an “em-eir”? By the way, these are indeed bona fide gender pronouns – at least in the minds of some quacks…
  2. The term “trans-fats” shall be renamed by the food science community. Trans fats shall instead be called “saturated fatty acids” so that the term trans fats does not cause offense to those gender-bending lard-boys and lardettes who make up the obese transgender community. Of which there are many, by the way…
  3. That big fish known as the Great White Shark shall be rebranded for obvious reasons. Namely, the words “great” and “white” can never be uttered together in the same descriptor because that kind of hints at Caucasian exceptionalism... and we can’t have that, can we now?
  4. The terms “scalping” and “scalper” regarding those entrepreneurs who sell tickets for sold-out sports matches and music concerts will no longer be tolerated as this might be deemed as cultural appropriation. Moving forward, the correct woke term for scalper shall be “ticket-reseller professional.”
  5. The entomologist community shall issue an edict demanding that White Anglo-Saxon Protestants stop being referred to as WASPs in case any members of the beekeeping community are offended.
  6. Finally, it’s surely curtaining next year for the name of the superb Toronto-based Mexican restaurant chain, Fat Bastard Burrito Company. Never mind that this name is truly truth in advertising given that there is a huge preponderance of Mexicans who are overweight and are being raised in single-parent households. But again, if the truth offends, the truth shall be rendered a causality by the uber-progressive left. In fact, a few years ago, we did some field research regarding the Fat Bastard moniker. 

So. there you go, folks. And in the spirit of “sharing is caring” kindly send me your predictions of what things and terms shall face the axe in 2023. I can’t wait… 

So, Happy New Year to one and all… or at least for those marking time by the Gregorian calendar, that is. My apologies in advance… 

For Rebel News, I’m David “The Menzoid” Menzies.

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