Just when you thought you’ve heard it all, along comes a whiz-bang, new- and not-so-improved version of our national anthem. Check it out. You’re not going to believe your ears...

This particular version of O Canada is being played at some Toronto schools. How many schools? Well, not even the Toronto District School Board knows for sure.

We were tipped off about this alternative national anthem by someone associated with Elkhorn Public School. Elkhorn apparently plays this version of the national anthem every Thursday.

It is entitled, O Canada: Sung In Ojibwe' & Written Cree Version with running sub-text, translations.

Yeah, not exactly grammatically correct, but we live in a day and age in which spelling has gone by the wayside, so what the dilly-O…?

Look, we know that so many woke-joke school boards and schools are obsessed with the unholy trinity of diversity, equity and inclusion. But completely changing the lyrics? And inserting barnyard animal noises into a national anthem? What’s the deal behind that sort of sonic vandalism?

We reached out to a spokesman with the Toronto District School Board about this anthem received the following response:

There is no single version of O Canada that is played in TDSB schools on certain days, etc. That is left up to our 583 schools… It appears to have been recorded (judging by the opening slide) by a Catholic school outside of the TDSB, so can’t say for sure. As I listen to it, I assume the elementary students wanted to incorporate nature sounds into it, but that’s just my guess. You’re best to speak with the school that recorded it.

So it was that we reached out to Alyson Sobol, the principal of St. Paul Catholic Elementary School. We did not receive a reply. Maybe Principal Sobol is embarrassed. She should be.

We also reached out to Heather Cairns, the principal at Elkhorn School. Our queries were as follows:

• What is the ostensible policy reason for this new anthem?
• How many students at Elkhorn are Cree?
• Why are there sounds of barnyard animals inserted into the anthem?
• Are there plans to play other versions of the anthem in other languages utilizing other sound effects?

And the response? Again, radio silence.

How odd. We thought public schools were funded by, you know, the public. That would suggest schools should be open and transparent to taxpayers, no? Alas, nothing could be further from the truth. The so-called co-parents know better. And if you ask an impolite question, one receives the silent treatment. Class.

Look, maybe we’re old-fashioned. But we believe that a country’s national anthem is somewhat sacred. We don’t take issue with translating an anthem’s lyrics into another language. But with the exception of the words, “O Canada”, all of the lyrics have been completely rewritten. Why?

Then again, the Blackface Liberals like to tinker with the lyrics to O Canada in the name of wokeness.

The last change came in 2018 when “True patriot love in all thy sons command” was altered to “True patriot love in all of us command.” Don’t want to be sexist or transphobic, after all.

And Blackface says he’s open to changing other lyrics, such as altering “home and native land” to “home on Native land." Well, of course he is!

And this bizarre business of adding animal sound effects to the anthem… again: why? Who thinks this is a good idea? In this regard, we’re wagering that Canada is unique in the entire world in terms of having a national anthem punctuated by the outbursts of ducks and dogs and cows and various other critters.

Bottom line: this version of O Canada is absolutely crazy…!