Mexican researchers want people eating food to wear… nose guards?!

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Full disclosure, folks: we do not know if the following is a premature April Fool’s Day joke. But here’s the skinny nevertheless: Mexican researchers want people to wear nose guards when chowing down on their tacos and burritos in the name of Wuhan virus protocols. Kindly check out this news item from Reuters:

Researchers in Mexico have made a nose-only COVID-19 mask, which they say reduces the risk of infection of coronavirus during eating and talking.

The people behind this nose-only mask say taking off the face mask to eat or drink leaves one exposed to the virus. While this nose-only mask still provides some sort of protection. According to Johns Hopkins University in the U.S.A., cells that give people a sense of smell are a key entry point for coronavirus, making nose coverings like these important. However, the World Health Organization (WHO) recommends people wear a face mask that covers the nose, mouth, and chin.

You gotta love that last line about the WHO recommending people mask up fully... Excuse me, Dr. Tedros: just how does one eat food if one’s mouth is covered up by a face-diaper? Unbelievable.

But folks, if you think that a nose guard is indeed a great idea to reduce Wuhan virus infections while eating, don’t shell out big bucks for some fancy COVID-19 nose guard. Rather, simply pay a visit to your friendly neighbourhood novelty store and buy a pair of Groucho glasses.

These glasses, which date back to the 1940s, make for a caricature of the iconic image of the late, great Groucho Marx. The glasses also sport eyebrows and a mustache, and, of course, a fake plastic nose that will adroitly entomb one’s real-life nose, keeping it safe and sound from all those wicked Wuhan virus particles fluttering around everywhere.

We tested out the idea of wearing Groucho glasses at a downtown Toronto patio. The consensus from passersby: the idea of wearing nose guards is ludicrous, bordering on insanity.

Yet, who knew that a slapstick novelty invented some 80 years ago would somehow become regarded as a valuable piece of coronavirus PPE in 2021? But then again, if there’s one thing that has become apparent these past 12 months, it’s that we are all living in Clown World, so in that regard, it kind of makes sense that clown-inspired PPE is a superb solution to this ongoing pandemic.

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  • By Ezra Levant

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