Coronavirus lockdown still in full force for Brampton, Ontario

Welcome to Brampton, Ontario, the city where fun goes to die…

Brampton, lorded over by Mayor Patrick Brown – yeah, THAT Patrick Brown, the guy who might’ve been Premier of Ontario if not for that thankful palace coup staged by his own party some two years ago – is surely one of the worst places in Canada when it comes to bylaw officers handing out Wuhan virus tickets.

Indeed, check out this stat: during a one-week period form June 2-8, Brampton handed out 127 charges under the Emergency Management and Civil Protection Act. Assuming those tickets were for the du rigueur $880 per head, that works out to the City of Brampton enriching its coffers by almost $112,00 – in a single week!

And what heinous crimes were Bramptonians committing? Well, some were playing soccer or cricket. Some were using playground equipment. Others were just gathering in parking lots or even in their own backyards. One hairdresser had the temerity to open her salon to – shockers – cut hair for those in desperate need of a haircut. Oh, the humanity!

Alas, Crybaby Brown was not amused. In fact, he’s actually been ramping up enforcement just as the province is finally beginning to slowly reopen the economy.

Indeed as I discovered after visiting a handful of parks, the city has employed private security guards to spy on playgrounds! That’s right: the City of Brampton is using a battalion of paid professional snitches! So, if junior has the temerity to climb over the temporary steel fencing preventing access to the slides and monkey bars (none of that wimpy yellow police caution tape is used in Fortress Brampton, mind you), the security guard places a call to the city and then bylaw officers sweep-in, Batman and Robin-like, to hand out those $880 coronavirus tickets. Now, that’s crimefighting!

You know, the City of Brampton actually has three official slogans: “Canada’s Flower City’; “Quality Excellence Pride”; and “B more B extraordinary B unstoppable.”

After visiting the parks based in this municipality, methinks Brampton needs a new slogan that better reflects life there during this day and age of the global pandemic. Namely: “Brampton: Sanitized for your protection.”