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Perhaps one of Toronto’s most dubious achievements is that it has the worst gridlock in all of North America. And yes, that includes New York City, Los Angeles, and even Mexico City!

Ay-yi-yi!

And just how bad is the commute in Hogtown these days?

This bad: Rebel News recently staged a test using three modes of transportation: car, public transit, and bicycle.

The starting point was an intersection in North Toronto; the finish line was Yonge-Dundas Square. It was a distance of precisely 11 km.

Ace videographer Lincoln Jay drew the short stick and had to get to Yonge-Dundas Square via the Toronto Transit Commission. The TTC bills itself as “The Better Way” and “The Red Rocket.” Spoiler alert: don’t believe the hype.

Then there was Rebel News staffer Nishani behind the wheel of her 200-horsepower car.

Finally, I rode my bicycle. For what it’s worth, I'm hardly the second coming of Lance Armstrong crica-2001. Rather, I'm 63 years old, have two artificial hips, and am currently cursed with a bad right knee. Indeed, on paper, according to the tale-of-the-tape, I would seem to be the prohibitive underdog when it comes to winning any kind of race.

So, what happened?

Incredibly, I came in first! My time: 31 minutes and 59 seconds.

Second place went to Nishani. Her time: 37 minutes and 31 seconds.

Dead last was Lincoln. His time: 46 minutes and 5 seconds. Some “Red Rocket” eh?

As for the cycling zealots out there who may believe that I've proven that cycling is the way to go when it comes to Toronto commuting, I'll point out some inconvenient truths to this hypothesis.

First, this test took place on a warm (25 C) and sunny afternoon. How does cycling work during a torrential downpour? Or in the dead of winter when the windchill temperature is minus 20 C or worse? Let’s put it this way: nobody wants to freeze their ball bearings off in such conditions.

Secondly, when one cycles, one perspires profusely. Who wants to go to the office or go shopping in Sweaty Betty mode?

Third, where does one park a bicycle? Oh sure, there are plenty of poles and whatnot to lock up one’s bike. Just one hitch: there’s a very high probability that the bicycle will be long gone upon your return, given Toronto’s surging crimewave these days.

In any event, the fact that an old man on a bike handily beats a car and public transit makes for a scathing indictment of the city’s dereliction of duty when it comes to providing the sort of infrastructure to facilitate automobiles.

Meanwhile, public transit remains a joke: Example: Torontonians are still waiting for the completion of the Eglinton Crosstown LRT, which is now five years past deadline and more than $1 billion over budget! And we’re only talking 19 km of track here!

And that’s the problem in a nutshell: as the leftist nutbars at City Hall cling to their war on the car agenda, viable alternatives to driving in the city are unavailable.

So, congratulations, Mayor Olivia Chow. Toronto is currently number one in North America in terms of horrific commuting times.

Take a bow…